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Call: 07977 395327                                                  Email: paulc852@aol.com


Child counselling 

As in all therapies the relationship between therapist and client is vital for the process to be successful. Also you need to know that you and your child will receive a professional, safe and timely journey improving child development. I use a mixture of counselling NLP and hypnotherapy skills with young people to great success.

Does my child need help?  Or is one of the below issues affecting them:
  • Exam stress
  • Child development
  • Lack of confidence caused by natural shyness or life experiences
  • Low self-esteem, for example, self doubt, lack of assertiveness, negative beliefs, sensitivity
  • Phobias - from dislike to sheer terror
  • Bereavement - this can be a confusing time for children, for example, reacting to emotions of others who are close to them, or experiencing a deep loss for someone/something that may be regarded as minor by others around them.
  • Divorce or any other kind of changes in home life causing disruption to an ordinarily balanced emotional state
  • Parental distress, caused by illness, substance abuse, depression or anxiety
  • Self harm
  • Adoption or fostering
  • Bullying
  • Trauma
  • Cultural issues
  • Sexuality
  • Sleeping anxiety and nightmares
  • Siblings family conflict
  • Trouble with the police
Please contact me to discuss the issue, I offer a free 30-minute consultation with you and your child. If you and your child are happy, we work out a treatment plan and book your child's first session. 

I normally expect 2 sessions to be adequate, but can do up to 4 sessions.

Cost for children is negotiable.


Under 16s Case studies 

Client - 15-year-old Georgie

Georgie is a pupil at a local school who was advised to come for help with her anxiety over upcoming exams. The problem came to a head when a teacher at her school noticed that she had been cutting her arms, self harming. Her parents were informed by the school and she was taken to the doctors, the doctor wanted the family to try therapy first, with the option of medication if the condition deteriorated.
Georgie was showing signs of extreme anxiety, poor sleep with nightmares, reduced appetite, cutting herself off from her friends and worrying constantly about her exams, she had been feeling this way for about 4 months, with the symptoms getting worse as the exams became closer, with the self harming happening over the past 2 weeks, she found some comfort from self harming but new it was wrong.

The first session was looking at the triggers for the anxiety, the main belief was that if she failed to perform to A star level then she could see no future and she would let down her family and have no future, the anxiety actually made her grades suffer so was stuck in a circle of stress and self fulfilling prophecy. After discussing her fears and beliefs for most of the first session we worked on the NLP anchoring technique, giving her a nice space that she could summon on demand.

A week later on the second session she had improved , stopped self harming and said she was coping better, the school had been very helpful in looking at ways they could help reduce her anxiety in the exams, people were listening and helping. Still there was high levels of anxiety, so we did some EFT tapping therapy [emotional freedom technique] and although she had been using her nice space , it did seem that it needed to be reinforced. So we did some advanced anchoring and imagery work, working within the client’s view of the world to give her a defence against anxiety. Her anxiety was described as a stalking tiger, and courage and wisdom was in the form of an eagle. With these beliefs the nice space was empowered with the ability to summon the eagle. 

Georgie left the session appearing and saying she felt better prepared to cope with the coming exams.


Client - 9-year-old James

James has regular nightmares that stop him and his parents from sleeping through the night. This causes anxiety issues during the day. 

Presentation
James was bought to the first session by his mother who expressed concern about being unable to stay in his bed at night due to regular nightmares, waking the household, this had been going on for several months, and all were becoming fractious. Also during the day James was very anxious about being left on his own even for a few minutes.

Session 1.
James presented as a high functioning boy, who enjoyed sport, particularly football, had few close friends, enjoyed reading and computer games. He also had a active imagination It also became obvious that the nightmares began after being exposed to a graphic documentary about brown bears, and reinforced by a museum visit where a giant stuffed bare was being exhibited. The anxiety around the nightmares made the client hyper vigilant at bedtime, with noises, shadows and shapes reinforced the bears in the bedroom fear. 
This was the focus of the session. Using NLP reframing techniques we worked on changing the bears into a guard as opposed to a threat, and another EFT technique [emotional freedom tapping] to reduce the fear.

Session 2 
The Clients mother reported there had been a huge improvement, with only one night disturbance during the week. The bear was now a friendly addition to the family. We then looked at the anxiety issues, again from other pupils discussing ghost stories and some relating horror film details the client had a fear that ghosts or adults may abduct him if he was on his own.
The focus of this session was to look at client’s belief of death, he believed in the concept of heaven. All the clients’ grandparents were dead, and he had fond memories of the last surviving one. With reframing techniques we looked at making his grandparents his guardian angels, to protect him day and night. We also used the magic space button, anchoring NLP technique, to give client control and an alternative to the anxiety around separation. 

Conclusion.
James was a bright boy, with an active imagination, and as is common at that age frightening experiences led to nightmares, and the main issue was not addressed, being seen as silly or a phase that would quickly pass. The process of accepting the Childs world as true and working to reframe the negative into positive was most helpful for the client. 

            Young people and sudden death issues.
The past few months i have been seeing young people struggling to cope with sudden death. One was a unexpected suicide, the other death through a critical illness. Death has always been a difficult area for people to discuss their feelings, thoughts and beliefs, in the olden times it was the role of the church to help people come to terms with loss, but this has lessened over time, often leaving young people lost in a sad or painful place.
Counselling and NLP really does help the young person gently explore their own feelings and belief, what the missing person meant to them personally, and what they think happens to people who die.
Its not our job to force our own beliefs onto others, but help them find a more comfortable place in their own psyche.
All counsellors understand the four stages of grief, shock and numbness, anger, acceptance and finally moving on, and finding where a client is stuck in this process is the beginning.
Tom, 17 and studying at college for his A levels was sent to me by his GP, he had been struggling to cope with the suicide of his old form tutor, he had lost his appetite, sleeping sporadically and isolating from his family and friends, all were concerned.
He explained how even though he had spoken to many friends about the incident he could not get on with his life. Looking at his  feelings there was a lot of guilt, guilt that maybe he should have seen the tutors problems and offered help, that  maybe he missed some signals ...a normal emotion for sudden loss, also he did not feel connected as others did at the funeral service, so we looked at his personal beliefs of what happens after death, and got those thoughts into a more comfortable place, and came up with a plan of action for Tom to make his own personal tribute or ceremony to complete his unfinished business. Life for Tom has now moved on.
Katie, a 14 year old girl was also recommended to me by her GP, she was very unhappy after the death of her grandmother from cancer. She was very close to her grandmother as her own mother was a busy professional, who was also struggling to come to terms with the loss of her mother, but kept busy, and did not feel able to talk about it.
After the first session it was clear that the picture or image of Katie’s grandmother was a unpleasant one, just before her death, where she was in a lot of pain and discomfort, it was in her dreams and kept appearing in her mind on a regular basis, a form of trauma. Again her beliefs were explored and clarified.
The second session we again looked at her finding her own personal ritual, which she wanted to do with her mother, and we did a session of EFT [emotional freedom technique] a simple speedy tool used on trauma, to remove the bad image and a swish NLP technique to replace it with a happy memory and image of her beloved granny.